My birthing experience.
So it was Monday [jan 28th 2008] afternoon 12ish and Im getting ready to take a shower and go to my doctors appointment. Right before I get in the shower my water breaks. I hurry and take a really fast shower and pack up the rest of my stuff and head to the hospital with my parents. By 2pm I was all in my room and then the real waiting began. I was only at 1 and 20. Which is like next to nothing. They started giving me meds and I was just relaxing. HAHA. around 4pm contractions really started, I couldnt feel them so I was like wow, this is going to be so easy. boy was I wrong. Around 6pm they were getting intense and I was really starting to feel them, they just felt like cramps so I was like yeah, this isnt going to be bad at all. They broke the other bag of water and she started to get pretty upset [alainah] so they had to 'make' water for her. it was very unpleasant. I was at 1 and 30. HAHA. still....nothing.
by 12pm I was getting very aggervated because I wasnt really progressing and they started to check me like every hour and by 12am I was like 4 and 50. I was talking to the nurses about drugs by then. The contractions were very intense and I wasnt going to hold out much longer.. so by 2am I was screaming for some drugs and they gave me some... I was able to relax and really rest between contractions. That lasted about an hour maybe 2. I was asking for more drugs because they started to get very intense and I started to panic and I started pushing with the contrations and they started to scream at me because I would really mess up my insides if I continued. haha.
It was about 4am and I was 5 and 60, screaming my head off. Yelling at everyone. The doctor came in and yelled at me and I felt really bad after that haha. that didnt last very long. By 6am I was at 7 and 90. I started really flipping out, pressing the nurse button every 2 mins. My contractions were so horrible I was screaming for drugs, screaming at my mom, screaming at the doctors, screaming at the nurses. I couldnt take it anymore. I was screaming at the nurses 'If I cant get an epidural I swear Im going to kill all of you, I will be so fucking pissed off you will all be sorry' HAHAHAHAHA. [I dont remember saying any of that, or really screaming at anyone.] They said the epidural guy wasnt in so I had to wait for him. he FINALLY showed up at 7 and then I was alright. At 7:30 I was at 10 and 100. FINALLY. and then the doctor that practices with my doctor came in to deliver. She had this strange look on her face and I just knew something wasnt right. I started to get really scared and she just looked so serious and I just knew something was going to go wrong..... She said it was time to push so I pushed for an hour... when I was pushing I could see/feel her slide back up under my ribs and that hurt so bad. :[ the cord was wrapped around her neck and it was pulling her back and when I was pushing her heart rate was dropping and the last time that i pushed she just got stuck. HAHA so they said that they have to do a c section.. I started crying because it was my biggest fear and I was so terrified of it. the girl next door same thing happened but she had to get a c section right then so they rushed her up and stablized me and we waited for about 20 mins and then I went up to prepare for surgery :[ i was still crying and my mommy came with me and held my hand<3 it was 9:52 when I got on the table they pumped me more with an epidural because they turned it off when it was time to push [them bastards] and i felt EVERYTHING, I felt them cut me and it felt like they were mashing up my insides like hamburger meat. I didnt feel any pain but I felt everything. so finally they get her head unstuck and when they said that they were going to pull her out i felt them really pulling with lots and lots of pressure and the most insane feeling is to feel someone pull a baby out of you. I was screaming mostly because I was scared and so overwhelmed I didnt know what to do but scream. they were like calm down everything is okay. haha. they pulled her out at 10:16. it really took them that long to get her out..... I kept asking if it was a girl and i heard her crying and about 20 seconds they finally told me it was haha. they showed me her and her cone head HAHA. poor girl, it was fine by the next morning :] she still has a big head though. hahahahaha. and I didnt get out of the er until 11:02. I watched the clock. I didnt understand how come it took so long until they told me they gave me about 70 stitches and they pumped me up with morphine :D i was feeling pretty good and I was so tired so I slept for an hour when i was in recovery and they took me back to my room and everyone was waiting for me and then they FINALLY let me see her. it felt like forever because i didnt know if she was okay or not or how much she weighed or anything i just really really wanted to know that everything was okay. and of course it was :D that night i was up and doing laps around the labor and delivery area haha. and i stayed in the hospital until thursday night.
16 hours of labor. it was very scary and I refuse to do it again.
of course it was worth it.
Im still never going to do it again.
she is already 6 months and the cutest little thing. on my myspace i have tons of pictures of her. my link is above.
anyways... lots of things have happened since she was born.
same nothing with her dad. I dont expect that to change. He like wants me to do all the paper work to make him the legal father... HAHA am I stupid? nope sorry.. I cant do it, I cant. He had his chances, I wont let her get hurt. If that means I have to do this all on my own to know she will be ok. then so be it.
Jeff, my boyfriend and I with his niece Ashley... we are going to see paramore today! I am wayyy excited! I know this girl megan, she told me she wants to have a baby.. I kind of laughed at her and said ok, babysit mine and then tell me after if you still want a baby. so she is going to baby sit while im at this concert. she lives around the block so if anything goes wrong my parents are right there.
one more cig and im going to sleep.
wow am i going to kick my ass for staying up so late.