ashleyy (ashley_disaster) wrote,


so its like 3am, i have to get up at 7 and start driving to KY with jeff and my moms best friends daughter, we are driving her to school in ky.  we brought her home for the summer and i LOVE driving long distances i just love it so i am way excited about it....well expect the part where its 3am and im not going to sleep but a mear 4 hours or something. we are just driving there unloading her crap and driving right back.  

jeff and i spend a lot of time together all at once and then a few days apart and then repeated...  i love that.  before it was together all the time all the time, i wasnt getting sick or him or anything like that [in any other relationship i would have found something i didnt like and got out of there quick, fast, and in a hurry.]  I just wasnt getting enough ashleyy time.  and i get that now, it makes me so grateful to know i have this man in my life to whom is everything to me and i am everything to him including my daughter.  i couldnt ask for anything like this.  he was handed to me by god and how everything is like perfect who freaking knows.  it almost makes me sick to know i am in a healthy relationship and we are happy and we are growing together.  who knows kittys this could be it. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH only one day at a time. really.

today Ali and i walked 7 miles.  my legs feel like they are going to fall off.  I havent ate anything but a half of sandwitch and like 5 glasses of iced tea and a cup of coffee.  what am i thinking?

well i obviously am not.  Yesterday was jeffs birthday, we went out to pontiac lake and he skiied and we swam and had a picnic it was so cute.  we took some pictures, one day i will finally get my hands on them or something?  just things are going really well right now and i am so scared im going to do something to screw them up.  ive felt this way for quite a while now and i seem to be doing great but its just that fear of the past that i just need to let go.  sometimes is SOOO easy and sometimes i have to twist my arm to just accept things, people, places, sitiutions the way they are and just make sure i am doing what i need to do.  because that is what HE wants me to do.
well its wayyy late and if i dont sleep i will hate myself tomorrow.
i love you jesus.

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.