ok. so i thought i had a handle on some things... im guessing yes and no...... um.. i havent really been going the all the meetings i want to go too... like i am so lazy. i dont ever want to get out of bed, all i do is watch tv. like i dont have any motivation. i mean i do... i just dont really want to do anything.. i dont know why this is happening. i want him to get out of there so we can start everything the way its suppost to be. i just dont like how this is turning out right now. i dont know everything is so fucked up and my parents are just making this worse for me. i dont know. i know what i have to do. and i have been doing it mostly i have been reading the book and praying and everything but im not exactly sure if im doing this right. i dont know its just really really really really hard. but its so freaking simple it makes me sick. and i just dont know i am completely clueless at the moment. i want to be with him and thats all i can think about. i am hoping this just isnt the addict talking to me. i hope not so bad because all i want is him and i want to do this with him. well at least have him there for me to talk to not just over the phone but in person i dont know. its been almost 2 weeks and i am going fucking insane. maybe its just the sexual tension between us everytime that we talk. i just miss him so much that i cry alot over it and this is all wrong. i do not need to be caught up in him. i have to do this for myself. i mean i reconize the problem but its not as nearly as bad as anyone else. and yes that is wrong too. i have the problem and its there, i know its there. god please help me.
well i hate being back. well it is nice to be 'home' only if i had a home to go home to.... if that makes any sence... anyways.. ive just been spending tons of army money :D and i went on a weekend vacation with my 2 bestfriends to ohio<3 I will have pictures soon.
so i have like 5 kittens to be given away<3 let me know if you want one<3
oh and i got a cool phone now.. the number is.. ha like i would really put it on here....
so i have to go and do a bunch of army crap today.. im so going to like leave right after i get my patch and crap. im not staying the night and like doing pt in the morning and stuff no way. it all depends on how long im going to have to be there... anyways im getting so fucking annoyed right now so im leaving. bye. <3